oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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