You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
