I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
