This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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