I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
