Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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