You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize