she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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