I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
