I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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