is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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