think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
