stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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