i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
