i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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