Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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