and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Drunk is not a location!
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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