My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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