let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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