you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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