I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
