Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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