i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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