the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
im about as happy as oj after his trial
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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