I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
