i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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