i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
