i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
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