Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
