On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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