I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize