I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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