apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
