It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
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