Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
