why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
