Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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