the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Let's paint friendship bongs
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Randomize
