I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
