I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I need a beard to bite.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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