I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
