Hey man sorry I got all grabby
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
