I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
