Me. At least after what I've been through.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
