Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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