I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize