I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
