Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
