shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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