Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
