O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
