Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize