Can i not drive my cunt home
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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