U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
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